So you just got engaged and your mind and home are in a flurry of activities. You find yourself swept away by the wave of congratulations, soon accompanied by unsolicited advice, expectations, and options which demand your immediate decision-making attention. You are soon spread thin amidst the pressure to plan the ‘perfect wedding’, the race to hunt down the best of vendors and making 167 decisions a day, be it flowers, napkin designs, silverware, and more. Result? Frayed nerves and snappy quips between you and your partner!
Abort mission and sit down and take a deep breath! Wedding planning is supposed to be fun, remember? If it is threatening to weight down on your nerves and test your relationship, maybe you are doing something wrong. Retract and analyze and reframe. You got this!
Here we have some more advice (unsolicited, but hear us out!) which will help you glide through your wedding planning activities gracefully while you are still connected to your special one! You can thank us later!
Shared Vision: Before you haul yourself right into the wedding planning activities, sit down with your partner, and talk. How important is the wedding party for you? How involved are you going to be? Do you want a church wedding or a destination wedding? What is the vision for each of you and is there any way to meet in the middle? Talking will leave no room for discrepancies later on, which means no ugly surprises. Starting from that shared vision will set you off to a good start, so we can’t stress on this enough.
Equal Involvement: While it seems more often, that the brides take control of most wedding-related decisions, it is a good idea to ask the groom (or the other partner) for inputs too. A wedding is a collaborative occasion and should depict both parties equally. While chances are that one partner might want to take the backseat and let the other drive most of the decisions, popping in for preferences and opinions every now and then is healthy, so that the least involved party doesn’t feel like they are being overridden and their opinions don’t matter.
Go on Dates: Don’t let everything about your relation be just about the wedding. Keep your dating routine unaffected by the wedding preparations. Every now and then, go out on a date and just enjoy each other’s company and keep the wedding talk away. Continue investing in your relationship and don’t lose sight of what matters. Putting the rest of your life in a pause just because of the wedding might take a toll on your relationship. Keep all ‘wedding talk’ on mute on your dates and just relax!
Perfection is a Myth: Don’t expect perfection because you will be disappointed. Something will go wrong, and you will break down, and trust us, we are not coming from a mean place here. With so many things to be done, its only math is that things will not be perfect. Be flexible and remind yourself constantly that it is okay if things fall short or don’t go as planned. Expect problems and have plan B. Be flexible and figure something out. People will not notice, whether the shade of blue matches perfectly or not but they will certainly notice, thanks to wedding photography and wedding videography, the frayed nerves on the wedding day.
Delegate, Delegate, Delegate: Don’t insist on doing everything on your own. Delegate your bridesmaid, your family members, and friends and they will be happy to help. But holding yourself accountable for a million different things will not only ensure you let a ball slip but might also lead to a very stressed you, which will reflect wrongly on your relationship with your partner. Hire a wedding planner if you have to. Call up your best friend. Ask your partner’s help. Just, don’t do everything on your own.
The wedding day is important and might be the most magical day of your life. But its the marriage which should be the prime focus. A gentle reminder: the wedding is just the celebration of your love while the marriage is for the long haul. We know things can get blurry in the light of wedding planning and a simple decision like the choice of silverware might seem like life or death. But it’s not! So eyes on the prize, people. All that matters is each other. So hold on to each other and this too shall pass.